I Wish You Could Have Been There

November 2025

Dear Mom,

Alex turned 32 this year. It really does not seem possible. I have been thinking of my pregnancy with him and have been reminded of the myriad times I wished I could have called you to share or ask a question.

I desperately wanted another child. Sara was nearly 9 when Alex was born. I wasn’t sure I would ever get pregnant again, after losing 2 babies the same year I lost you. Then the miracle happened. I often wondered if you had anything to do with that blessing.

Every pregnancy has its challenges, but I felt so lucky to be bearing a child, that the problems never seemed overwhelming. Right on his due date of November 10, I started having hard contractions and off we went to the local hospital. Alex was born 45 minutes later. I remembered how excited you were to hold Sara after she was born, and I wished you could have been there to hold Alex as well.

As I was thinking that, a remarkable thing happened. I was holding Alex on my chest when the nurse entered and happily exclaimed, “Your mother just called.” Wow, Mom, imagine my surprise when she said that since you had been gone for 16 months from this earth.

It took me a while to realize what had happened. Since Fred and I met in Spain, we had been speaking in Spanish during the birthing process. Apparently a Mexican friend had called my home, knowing November 10 was my due date. Since we did not answer, she called the hospital. Hearing her accent made the nurse assume she was my mother.

We have always laughed about that, but in my mind, I believe you were very present that day. Although I could not see or touch you, you were with me, weren’t you, Mom?

After Sara’s birth, you stayed with us for several days. I was so grateful because both Fred and I were exhausted and you not only helped us in many ways but also held tiny Sara so we could shower and take care of ourselves. I really missed that help after Alex was born.

I often think of how much you and Alex would have loved each other. I know you watch over him, but I wish he could have known you in person.

Thank you, Mom, for all the ways you have helped me since tiny Helen arrived so many years ago.

Love,
Helen